God is GOOD!

WOW! Four months since I've blogged?? Maybe blogging isn't my thing. I love writing and wish I could find more time to do so, it just seems so very hard to find time to do things I love that aren't currently necessary. Anywoo, I need to update since so many things have changed. The company we worked for outside of Aiming High did not close, but downsized alot. We were laid off, it has been a struggle financially at times, but God is and has been (and always will be) so faithful. We have not had to go without necessitites. And it has given us the opportunity to go full time into ministry, which is where our hearts desire has always been.

Jody is in a band now and they are playing their first gig this Saturday. We started a youth ministry last summer and it is growing and we are able to put lots of time into it, which I love. I have a weekly drama ministry now and that is like living a dream. So many things are stepping into place for us right now. It is an exciting time as we wait to see what the Lord is doing.

I have to testify - Our daughter is in a school for modeling/acting (that someone paid for her to attend). Last week, she came home crying because they rated her outfit "fair." She is supposed to dress in business attire and just doesn't have much of that in her normal teenage closet. She was crying because she wants to be her best, yet knew that we had no money to go buy clothing. 2 days later, I went to work and someone had given us a $500 donation to our family. Once again, God proved Himself to our child. He is SOOO GOOD!

11 Days Later!

I had no idea it had been 11 days since I wrote! How does time go by so fast? I have not done well with my "Love Dare" challenge. After writing the last time, I got stuck on the next one - doing something they needed done (basically). that was tough and it took me a couple days to find something - then last week my husband got very sick and I taught his class for him. Then I moved the book and totally forgot that I was doing this. Occassionally I would remember, but wouldn't have the book near me so I've been on vacation for the past week. Hopefully I can jump back in now. My book is safely back in my bedroom and in reach to be read on a daily basis.

It's been quite a week. One of the ministries we work with is very likely closing down. We have both been laid off with no notice. I know that our needs are met and God will take care of us, but I also know it's so close to Christmas and we have other bills that we will not be able to pay without a mighty move of God. The awesome things in all this - we serve a MIGHTY God. 'Nite!

Love in laundry

Yesterday I needed to do something "just because" - for no reason other than the fact that I choose to love him. I do "just because" things a lot because that's my love language - random acts of service. I feel more love coming home to washed dishes than a dozen roses. (I know, there may be something wrong there!) It's just who I am. For me, an act of kindness (or service) says that he thought about me, thought about how he could help me, and loved me enough to do something that he didn't have to do. Anyone can buy flowers - I want effort. Anyway, since I tend to do what speaks love to me already, I had to think of something that would really show I was doing this for no reason other than love. So, I did . . . are you ready . . . his laundry. Go ahead and laugh. I'm serious.

You have to understand that we are not a "typical" family. To get things done around our house in our limited time at home, we have to have assigned "Chores". Also, I am pretty picky about how I want things done, so I have to assign things that can be done correctly or I end up doing them over anyway. Also, when we moved this year, the laundry room is outside and not in the greatest condition. So I would rather stay away from the laundry room - which makes laundry the perfect job for my hubby! The bad side of this is that he has enough clothes to last a good 3 weeks where I need clothes washed weekly. So when things are really busy, I end up doing my own laundry on my work from home day. Well, we've been in one of those busy periods and my husband is about out of clothing - so I chose to do his laundry. I wanted to do something that would absolutely show my love - I think I picked it. I was able to get all of it washed, dried, and folded before he came home yesterday.

It took him a while to notice, but that's OK - it's not his love language and besides, it was done for love, not attention, RIGHT?

Day 9

While I recommend that anyone wanting to improve their marriage should do the Love Dare, I don't recommend doing it the way I do. Do NOT take a month to work through 1 week! I am being convicted that while I am doing a good thing, it is becoming obvious where my priorities lie. I love my family very much, but taking on this project is showing me how much I allow ministry, work, cleaning, etc to fill my days and thus it takes me a week sometimes to do one Dare. I am making a greater effort to do the dare each day. I believe the most important thing is that we keep going and not stop or give up, but I will work harder to do the devotions/dare more regularly.

The days are going well. I have had times of self revelation and honesty. I started Day 9 three days ago but don't feel that I've had the opportunity to really complete the task, so I'm focusing on Day 9 today. I have noticed over and over, that every time I make an effort to be pleasant or kind that it is never received negatively. I'm noticing that I can stop a lot of the dissension that we do have (not that we have very much) by refusing to respond in a negative way. Most of our disagreements are caused by one of us being defensive instead of understanding. I am grateful that we don't fight often, but I desire to stop the petty, needless stuff. There is so much more to living than always having to be right. I want to spend more time enjoying the incredible gift that God has given me in my family.

I'm running behind.

I realized yesterday that I'm actually on day 8 now. I guess that's what happens when you don't stay consistent! Day 6 took me several days to complete because it required time and I'm not so good with that. Before this, the dares have been simple tasks that require very little effort - or they're fun and you don't mind doing them (like shopping)!! But day 6 requires you to sit down and think, take a look at yourself, and write some stuff down. I was more than willing to do that, it was just making the time to complete the task that was my problem. I don't have an issue with looking at my faults and weaknesses - I reached the point a long time ago of wanting change, fun, and contentment over hiding and avoidance. I admit I need work - so I spent some time going over where I need to adjust my schedule - still not sure how I'm going to do that - and looking at how I react to certain situations and what that means. I discovered there are still some character defects in my life that I would rather not have. I still have some pride and selfishness that needs to be released. The awesome thing is - God loves me so much, He won't let me stay this way.

That's my prayer today. That the Holy Spirit continue to search my heart - and remove any bitterness, hurt, pride, fear (and so on) that still remains. Bring to my attention when I'm about to say or do something for the wrong reasons. Help me to be a better example of who you've taught me to be. In Jesus' Name. Amen

Day 5

Consistency is obviously a problem for me! It stuns me that another week has gone by. I'm still doing the Love Dare, but it seems to be going at my pace rather than daily. I did Day 5 about a week ago. It was easy for me - which shows me how I've grown over the years. I had to ask my husband what I do that he finds irritating - and stay calm and friendly while doing so! There was a time in my life when I would have been on edge waiting for his reply and then I would have had to defend myself once he answered. I love change! I was able to ask and hear his response. In fact, I already had a pretty good idea of what irritates him about me. Complete honesty - I do some of those things on purpose when I want to irritate him. (Yes, I admit it, I am a Pastor & a Pastor's wife and yet I sometimes push buttons and irritate my man on purpose!)

How do I irritate him?
1. When I take our child's side instead of his (in front of her). Actually, he said that doesn't just irritate him - it makes him flat out mad. I know, I know - never disagree in front of your child when it concerns your child - I'm working on it, believe me I'm working on it.
OK, I know this is a valid point and he's right on this issue so I need to work harder on supporting him (even when I disagree).
2. I probably should not admit this since I'm in ministry and there are lots of people who like to judge those in ministry, but I believe in being honest and real. God has asked me to strive and never give up - he knows I miss it sometimes. So, the second thing about me that irritates my husband is when I get really, really mad - sometimes I will curse. It really bothers him. It actually bothers me to. I don't like reaching that point. In the world, I had a horrible mouth for years and it took me quite a while to use bad language less and less often. Now when I reach the point of saying something I don't want to say - I have to go back to God and ask Him to examine my heart. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. If ungodly things come out of my mouth, then I believe there is an issue with my heart. Then I have to humble myself and apologize to God and my husband.
3. The last thing he said that irritates him is when I don't walk in my God given purpose. Sometimes he sees more potential in me then I can see in myself. He gets frustrated when I walk beneath my potential. That's actually really sweet.

So, I was blessed by this assignment. My honey has valid things that bother him. Things that I admit I need to work on. Again, I come away surprised at how much we've grown. I'm so greatful that we've come to a place in our relationship that we can have conversations like this without it starting a fight - and the responses are real - not the petty little things that use to drive us crazy about each other.

I have read Day 6 and unfortunately have kept putting it off - not because I don't want to do, but because it will require a little more insight and effort on my part. I hoping for Wednesday. While, I think it's important to do the Love Dare daily - it's worth doing period. Once you start, don't give up - even if you miss a few days.

Back on Track

I seem to be setting a pattern of every couple of days. Oh well, at least I keep going! Friday I was able to finally do day 3. It took me awhile to find something and it ended up just being something simple - OK, so I didn't put my all into, but it worked out OK. The main thing is, I accomplished another day.

Saturday I didn't do much. I kept forgetting to read to find out what the assignment was for day 4, but the day went well. I saw progress already on the other side! We went shopping today, and my husband but me a gift! He kept asking what I needed or wanted. It's hard for me sometimes to receive like that - I want him to know me well enough that he could buy me something without asking and it would just melt my heart! But I also have been around long enough to know that some men just aren't like that! (OK, most men!) Instead of being disappointed that it wasn't the way I wanted it, I decided to appreciate the effort and thought of something I would like that he could get for me. We both left the store happy. That's a good thing.

Today (Sunday) I did day 4. It was really pretty easy - just had to take 30 seconds of my time to accomplish today's dare. That was easy and I'm still working on not being negative. But get this - my honey is noticing something different - and I really haven't tried very hard. He said, "You're being really nice lately." I'm impressed. He noticed a change sooner than I expected. Please understand, I'm married to a great man - he's awesome - he's my friend and my strength. He just doesn't understand women much and we get so busy in ministry that we don't focus on each other like we should. That one comment from him today has got me wanting to try harder, put more effort into this, and believe that we may both be improved from this.

I encourage all of you - go do something nice for your spouse. Let him/her know they matter in your life. You never know what you might start.